Advice dating guy triangle

At the top are two letter, P on the left had side, R on the right.At the bottom, the tip of the triangle is the letter V.What he missed in growing up were opportunities to develop the self confidence that comes from learning to manage problems on your own.Now, as an adult, he easily gets overwhelmed, feels unconfident, anxious.They psychologically cut a deal: The rescuer says that I will agree to be big, strong, good and nice; the victim says I will agree to be overwhelmed and unable to manage. While everyone gets to move among all the roles, often one will fit more comfortably in one role more than another.

The P, R, and V represent different roles that the people can play; it is not the people themselves, but a role. Then they both stabilize and go back to their original positions.

He develops good radar and can pick up the nuances of emotions.

He is hyperalert, spends all his energy surveying the environment, stays on his toes, ever ready to do what the parents want.

The person in that role essentially has "nice guy" control. The person in that role feels overwhelmed at times. He suddenly blows up - usually about something minor - laundry, who didn't take out the trash - or acts out - go out a spends a lot of money, goes on a drinking binge, has an affair. He gets tired of being looked down on because the rescuer is basically saying, "If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't make it." Everyone once in a while the victim gets fed up and Bam, moves to the persecutor role.

He feels that problems are falling down on his head. He feels he deserves it, look, after all, he says to himself, at what I've been putting up with. Like the rescuer, the victim in this role blows up and gets angry usually about something small, or acts out. The rescuer hears this and moves to the victim position.


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